snorlaxatives:

99% sure my neighbors have seen me naked through my window at least 20 times

(via tessagray)

thefaultsinourself:

densofaxis:

the swim team at my school was able to slip in “we go in hard and come out wet” in the yearbook and the yearbook people didn’t realize it until it was too late so they put stickers over that part but everyone’s taking that shit off

that is beautiful

(via thelifeandtimesofawolf)

my-name-is-hilarious:

theyahoostaff:

yourfriendthecrow:

I don’t know bout y’all, but the Yahoo staff are fucking HILARIOUS

We are not fucking HILARIOUS

HILARIOUS COME HERE AND TELL THEM THAT WE ARE NOT FUCKING

theyahoostaff and i are just friends gOD

(via insurgentdevices)

scvlptures:

depression is when you don’t really care about anything

anxiety is when you care too much about everything

and having both is just like what

(via tessagray)

My minds on replay and i cant stop it

bird-on-a-leash:

paperwhale:

claydols:

your bra strap is showing please hide it because it is suggestive. also your boobs are producing lumps in your shirt please hide them. your butt is in the same situation please get rid of it. also your legs. your arms. your face.

I can see your feet and it’s very distracting and slightly arousing.

(Source: basedgosh, via bskarsgards)

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

(via theboynevercriedagain)

nobody-knows-nothing:

okay i need to talk about an issue

so like does anyone remember the shrek 2 dvd

and how it had this:

and then like…there was for no reason simon cowell

and he seriously sat on a fuckin panel with shrek and fiona like this was a regular fuckin thing for them 

and then like at the end u could choose which act u wanted to win and if u chose a really horrible one simon would throw the letter away and just declare himself the winner

…

we need to talk about this.

(via justcallme-molly)

colorado-wannabe:

So in English class we had to draw a scene from The Great Gatsby. After the drawings were done the teacher was showing them to the class, and one drawing was a pic of Gatsby reaching towards at the green light, but in the drawing Gatsby didn’t have hands. So my teacher starts saying something like how this picture has hidden meaning and portrays the helplessness Gatsby feels, and the kid next to me just casually says “I can’t draw hands.”

(via justcallme-molly)